Year One.

photo by  Abbey Sargent

photo by Abbey Sargent

Today I’ve been married to Josh for one year. 365 whole freakin’ days. Waking up next to him every morning feels super normal now. Calling myself “Mrs. Hurt” still sounds foreign and funny, but also very wonderful.

One year has absolutely FLOWN by. How has it been 12 months? Didn’t we just have a wedding? Didn’t we just start dating? WEREN’T WE JUST FRIENDS FIVE SECONDS AGO.

But here we are. A whole whopping year in. I now know what Josh’s favorite breakfast is and how long it takes him to brush his teeth and that he almost always sneezes in groups of three. He knows that scary movies give me nightmares (because I wake him up when I have nightmares) and that I don’t sweep very thoroughly. (This is the stuff of romance, you guys).

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in this first fast and glorious year, it’s that “becoming one” doesn’t happen over night. We got married a year ago today, in front of God and all of our favorite people, and that was that. A covenant was created. A knot was tied. Two became one in every legal and spiritual sense of the word.

But in 365 days, I’ve found that just because we became one doesn’t mean we feel like one, and “becoming one” for real is a little more of a process. Becoming one involves joining bank accounts and combining all our books on shared shelves and legally changing my last name (all of which took more time than they really should have). Becoming one is stacking days upon days of Home Depot runs and making dinner and decorating for Christmas and going on walks. Becoming one means learning each other better, a little bit at a time.

Becoming one also requires learning to die to myself in order to love my husband better, both in little, tiny things and in big, important things. Turns out, I am far more selfish than I thought. 365 days have been filled with 365 choices between “what do I want?” and “what does Josh need?” and, trust me, I have answered wrong more times than not.

Blessedly, there’s grace for that. Both from a loving husband (who is learning the same lessons), and from a gracious Savior who gave us the gift of each other in the first place, in order to bring us closer to Himself.

At our wedding, our officiant TJ told us to hang on to this scripture from 2 Timothy:

Remember Jesus Christ, raised from the dead.

Some days I remember better than others, but that gospel truth is real every day regardless. We love because He first loved us.

By His mercy, I get to be a wife to the most wonderful man I have ever known (I know I have a penchant for hyperbole, but that one’s actually true). By His mercy, we get to do the hard and holy work of being husband and wife. And by His mercy, we’re not doing the work alone. Christ is near.

This first year of marriage has been my greatest joy and privilege. But I’m even more excited for year 2, and 10, and 40. The journey has really just begun, after all. I can’t wait to be more and more “one” with Josh, until we’re that tottering old couple who accidentally wears matching outfits to the grocery store.

To my sweet husband, I love you!! I’m so glad I get to be married to you. Happy year one!