On Wednesday I sat in a laundry basket in the middle of a park on a snowy hill while my friend Amanda made snowballs and threw them at small children.
As I basked in the sparkling winter sunlight (while simultaneously losing feeling in my toes) I had one of those rare moments of epiphany.
I am living the dream.
People say that all the time, especially when they don't mean it. Like when you ask the guy working at Sonic on a 107 degree day how he's doing, he's all like "Oh yeah, livin' the dream."
But it occurred to me, on that sparkly white hillside, that I am actually living. my. dreams.
I just finished reading a book about how stories work, so I have some new lingo to frame life with. For example, an "inciting incident" in a story is is the event that sparks the fuse of the plot. I like that. Because it's true. There are events in the story of our lives that light a fire under our butts and change the plot.
About a year ago was one of the biggest inciting incidents of my story. And, as I look back at the narrative of the past twelve months, I am struck by two things. One, I am quick to see all the ways my life has not changed in that time, and two, my life has actually changed completely in that time.
One spring ago, I had a broken heart and a lot of cloudy dreams. This spring, I have a heart that is being recreated, and dreams running wild and coming true all over the place. And the beauty is, I really didn't do anything.
The American dreams says we have to hustle to make shit happen. That nothing will come unless we do it ourselves. I'm not against a good hustle, but I'm starting to think that mentality is wrong.
One of the biggest lessons I've learned lately is that I am pretty useless without Jesus. I mean I'm great or whatever, but when I try to do things on my own they usually crash and burn. It's only when I admit my weakness and let Jesus in that things start groovin'. Which makes total sense. My Father is the biggest dreamer of all, and He has put His dreams in my heart. It stands to reason that in order for those dreams to become real, He would have to be the one to do it. My finite humanity can't bring infinite dreams to fruition.
When a dream tugs at your heart, maybe your first reaction to shut it down. It's too big, you might say. No way that could happen.
Friend, I am telling you. It's possible. And there is only one thing you have to do. Show up. That's all. The dreams that are stewing away in your heart were given to you by the ultimate Dreamer. He knows exactly what you are capable of in His power, and He just needs you to step up to the plate.
Out of my greatest season of weakness, I have seen my biggest dreams take flight. Because once I had nothing to lose, it was easy to say, "Well sure I'm down. Why the heck not?"
Why the heck not has a been a big thing for me in 2015.
What I am positive of is this: Our biggest dreams will become reality when we look onward and upward and seek Jesus. All he asks is that we show up and grab His hand.